Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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