You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
