3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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