I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
