She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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