Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am