then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.