ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost