it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.