it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
