Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You ate ashes out of my bong
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
