talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
