Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
