I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
