Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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