She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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