I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize