I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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