My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
