I haven't been this sober since birth.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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