Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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