We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's just like the Real World with babies
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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