you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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