My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
