My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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