do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It's never too late to be topless.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
