If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
