You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
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I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
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So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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