If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
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