yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize