I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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