Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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