New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize