please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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