dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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