The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
