Screwed.edu
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
