i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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