If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
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IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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