69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
