I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
