STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
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i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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