The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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