i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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