I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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