Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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