R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize