Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
