Buhtt sex?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
