My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Randomize