Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
