is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
