I cannot find my penis.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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