I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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