I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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