Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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