I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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