I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize