We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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