he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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